Post by MK-M-GOBL on May 25, 2011 11:06:32 GMT
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry, “is this your husband?” He nervously asks. “No, silly”, she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend then?” He continues. “No, not at all” she says nibbling away at his ear.
”Is it your dad or your brother?” He inquires hoping to be reassured. “No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!” She answers. “Well, who in the hell is he then?” He demands.
She whispers in his ear “that's me before the surgery."
”Is it your dad or your brother?” He inquires hoping to be reassured. “No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!” She answers. “Well, who in the hell is he then?” He demands.
She whispers in his ear “that's me before the surgery."
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!
The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” Doesn't matter, she said….”just get out!"
The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” Doesn't matter, she said….”just get out!"
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!”
The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."